That first client…

I met my first client recently.  Fortunately, after reading up on how to advertise and how to ‘test’ potential clients, i decided to meet with a guy who had a lot of really good reviews.  A LOT OF REALLY GOOD REVIEWS … are a lot of reviews even good?  They say that you sleep with everyone that your partner has slept with … but in this day and age, that’s bound to be half the population when you look at how people are linked.  Think about it, you meet a new partner, he’s only ever slept with one person and that person has only slept with two….however, one of those has slept with at least 24 people  – bang!  …and it goes on from there.

So i looked at his REALLY GOOD REVIEWS from a different perspective.  He was reported to be kind, clean and good looking.  Nothing is going to stop you worrying about the sexual health implications, even when using protection … but you do have some control over ensuring that your clients are at least clean (in appearance), good looking (being an escort doesn’t mean you lose taste) and kind (so is less likely to be a psychotic killer).

One thing i found i had to do was to ‘assign’ myself to meeting that first client and, let me tell you, there are soooo many emotional conflicts that constantly flick through your mind a million times over.  The prevailing thought is; right once you’ve done it, accepted that cash…you’re a prostitute.  Like your life has changed, you’ve done it … but really, most of us have had sex so many times, whether money is exchanged before or after really doesn’t change the person you are.  Anyway, i ‘assigned’ myself to the fact that i would meet a client, my first client.  I had made a decision and intended on sticking to it.

I actually acted out the situation as a ‘job’ and didn’t think about it until i actually corresponded with the client to arrange meeting up and, of course, when we actually did meet up.  You really cannot let this merge into other aspects of your life.  More importantly, what i found is, that you must be professional and compartmentalise this aspect of your life to ensure that your client also understands the line that must not be crossed.  Some men will ask to see you again and i think that’s okay so long as it’s because  you’re his type or because obviously you ‘did a good job’.  But still, escorting is not the job for you if you are unable to separate sex from any type of relationship.  This is something that i can do quite easily and is one of the main reasons why i make a good couples escort; there is no risk of complications that may be present if the third person was a friend.

Anyway…i turned up at the house and called the guy to let him know i had arrived.  Sure enough he was a young single guy with the normal urges of any other young man.  He had an average house, average job and just wanted an escort for their primary purpose.  He cheekily squeezed my ass as i walked in, but gave me a kiss and told me how beautiful i was.  I asked his name and made small talk as he showed me to his bedroom.  I’d envisaged different scenarios beforehand, like would it start with me on the settee being offered a drink, then getting underway and leading to the bedroom…?

I worried that i’d feel ‘owned’ like i would have to do as i was told, even having to put up with being treated like a lesser person, because he was paying.  However, i reminded myself, i didn’t have to do anything i didn’t want to…i could call it off at the last minute or even choose to stop half way through.  I never have to be treated badly no matter how much i’m getting paid.  I developed the mindset of, you (the client) are affording a luxury to be able to spend time with me and believe it or not, when you exude that expectation and attitude it sets a presidency where you (the escort) are the one in control with everything to offer and gain.  I’m sure that this guy was genuinely respectful and don’t get me wrong the balance has to be right, you must make sure that the respect is reciprocated and the client feels at ease.  I find that a cheeky undertone of banter works really well to help establish the fine line.

Another issue is asserting the fact that you will only play safe.  Again, if this is something you insist as standard with no option, then it is accepted as the norm without even a thought from the client.  Plus, no one wants to put their health at risk and you’re doing it for them as much as for yourself.  For me, this means all types of sex including oral.  This was another mindset i had to adopt because at first i discussed with my best friend that i was worried that the client would be cross for insisting on protection but, again, exchange of money does not take away your rights.  Of course, experience teaches you to be clear about this right from the outset and this also helps you to weed out those who are actually irresponsible enough to sleep with a stranger without protection.  At the end of the day, i’m doing this to be able to afford my life…not to jeopardize it.  You may be thinking, well what about the chance of rape, being attacked or worse, but everything in life comes with a level of risk attached to it and you have to decide if it is proportionate and even try to mitigate it where possible.  Proportionate will depend upon the person’s situation.

So, we had sex and at no point did i think i was being paid to do this, i was just having sex, which is normal and natural.  Before we did engage, before he got too carried away i insisted that he give me the fee.  I did this in a jokey and flirty way and teased him whilst on that periphery of completely engaging with him so to speak….and of course i did it with bated breath to show that he must do it so we can both continue with what was naturally about to progress.

Afterwards, i lay and chatted with him, he’d booked me for the hour and my fees are on the upper more expensive side of the spectrum.  We chatted and laughed and i initiated further sex to make sure his hour was a memorable one.  Our conversation was about using the escorting site that we met on.  He said he’s been single for a while and felt that he was getting addicted to using the services from the site.  When i asked him why, he said that he felt that it was just easier than having to sustain a relationship.  However, he sighed and said that meeting escorts was stopping hi from finding a partner to have a conventional relationship with.  Then i got dressed and kissed him to say thank you for a lovely time.   I didn’t rush off and the hour came to a natural end.  On the way back, i felt a really strange emotion…i felt guilt but not for the reasons you’d think, i felt guilty that this guy was now lonely on his own and i had benefited financially from it.  But I have to remember, that i too am on my own and feeling lonely and that he has money to pay for escorts and i don’t have enough and that’s why i have to be one.

Having sex in this situation was more like acting.  Not in a disrespectful way…but you are performing.  Sex inside of a loving relationship is all encompassing and totally reciprocated on all levels…like a miraculous all-consuming pleasure.  This was not that.  Not because he was bad in the sack but because it was just sex in the mechanical sense enhanced with acting.

Well, this was my first experience with client in the traditional sense.  However, i had had an experience with a different type of man a few weeks before, where i’d made my ‘first’ money.  When i got home i put my new money in the safe and sat to stare at the small bundles of cash which were the main reason for all of this…for me i looked at the bundles as new flooring for my bare floorboards, a few less days sitting in the cold not being able to afford the heating and being able to afford time to work on my business without worry… i couldn’t help thinking about just how powerful those little paper notes were.

 

 

 

 

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