I’m not surprised by just how much men like sex, i knew just how much they obsessed over it before i decided to start escorting.  Having said that, i’m talking like i’m a hardened prostitute and, really, i’m not, in fact, I’ve only just dipped my toe into it.  Anyway, i really didn’t think that the obsession that men have with sex was so intense.  It’s like they have no control over seeking it and when they have it, those that are married or have a partner, don’t seem to hold a conscience … it’s like they’ve had their basic need met and they’ve only taken what they’re entitled to.  A bit like waking up after a sleep or feeling satisfied and able to carry on happily after eating.

Some men will go to lengths not to be caught out by their partners, and they do actually worry that they will, but they are not feeling guilty or remorseful, instead their concern is for themselves and how they would feel if they had to experience any sort of consequence from their actions.  Do they love their wives, their partners; most would argue no because you wouldn’t cheat on someone you love.  The problem comes from the fact that men don’t emotionally own the feeling of guilt and betrayal because having sex with a escort is just a physical encounter.  But women more closely associate sex with trust, love and it is emotionally fulled.

It’s a tough one.  I’m not saying that men are victims of their innate desire to shag anything with a hole but what i am saying is that they think in a very entitled way.  If they don’t get it from their partner it literally is a no brainer that they will get it elsewhere and have a ‘job done’ approach and attitude to it.  The drive of most of these men too is spectacular!  They literally are so focused and so driven to want to have sex it’s quite scary – and the amount of sex they crave, it’s like the more they have the more they want.

I can’t say that this is an eye-opener to me, i knew how much men liked sex but even more so now i have a raw realisation of just how depraved this almost predatory compulsion is.  So then i’m brought to think, why would there be an exception to this ingrained pattern of behaviour when it comes to the type of man that you respect and hold in high regard…and that’s a difficult conclusion to arrive at.

I love sex, i have a high sex drive.  I chat with my girlfriends and hear them complain about how burdensome they find having to have sex with their partners is.  I know that i am probably not average in terms of how much i like sex and want it.  I almost feel resentful when i hear them chatting about mundane day-to-day stuff and rolling their eyes when the topic of discussion comes around to their partner’s latest attempt to initiate sex…so how must their partners feel?  Not being able to identify with their attitude towards sex makes me feel like i am somehow weird for having the drive that i have and i feel marginalised.

I already decided i don’t want a partner, a husband.  and so this sets me aside from most women my age.  I live alone, i struggle with no one to meet me half way financially and this too also makes me feel different and alienated.  Then….i don’t have children, so not only am i like a man because of my ‘drive’ but my femininity is even more stifled by the fact that i seem to appear as i’m some sort of anti-maternal fiend.

In truth i feel so much more empowered as a female than my friends.  I’m a siren, the one who loves to embrace the sexiness of what it is to be a woman.  For me, those friends who choose to give up their identity and only focus upon the mechanics of sex to have babies – they are the ones who are taking the emotion and passion out of sex, just as much as they accuse men of doing.

I suppose the question is, why are so many attached men seeing escorts regularly.  I’m not apportioning blame here, there are so many dysfunctional marriages that a shell of a marriage isn’t a marriage in crisis but is the norm, like an expected way to just be and exist.  But why can a couple not open up and communicate what it is they desire and be excited about experiencing the journey that they take together to explore all the fabulous things life has to offer.  Anyway… what do i know…i’m just a single, childless whore.


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