What keeps a hooker up at night…?

Hahaha … well it’s not what you might think!  It’s nearly 4am and i’m wide awake.

There’s a few things i want to get off my chest.  Over the weekend i’ve made a conscious effort with regard to making escorting appointments with new clients.  Ideally, i’m looking for two more clients who i would provide incall for on a regular basis.  You see, incall is different because i will only ever consider offering to trusted men and to a very limited few.  For the two i currently have accepted for incall – they consider themselves very lucky, and so they should.  I also have a regular on outcall.

Not to blow my own trumpet but i’m classy, educated, intelligent and that’s just not easy to find.  Without being disrespectful, finding a escort who you feel safe with is a luxury…who wants to be intimate with someone who looks like they would struggle to write their own name never mind remember to brush their teeth.  It’s not just about feeling safe; only seeing a limited number of regulars means that i can focus on meeting their needs , which is something the ‘conveyor-belt’ type is not interested in.  This means that clients get a more authentic and almost exclusive service.  Plus my home is in an affluent suburb and not some extension of a crack den.

The most important aspect that sets me above others is that with me a client will enjoy knowing that i too am enjoying myself, which, believe it or not, is the secret ingredient for most men.  If it were just sex then they would try harder at pestering their wives.  Part of the experience is knowing that they are pleasing me…almost all men categorically say that they don’t find anything attractive about a woman that’s just going to lay there.

The problem is finding those men who are worthy to be a regular incall client.  When men see the fees that elite escorts charge, they are put off – that’s a good way to filter out the wrong type of client.  However, it’s only after a client has experienced me that they realise just how exquisite i am.  They have a taste of luxury and don’t ever want to settle for less.

I have a whole list of enquiries every day…this weekend was no different.  I posted my add out, as i told myself i would in a conscious effort to shortlist two potential incall clients…

My word…where do i begin?  Well, yes, no two men are the same that’s very true, they’re all unique – very unique in fact.  One has decided that he can’t meet me ‘professionally’ and he’s suddenly decided (yes, in the space of a few hours) that he’s got feelings for me and wants me to ‘put all of my past histories’ behind me and give him a chance, offering to take me on a date – no, absolutely not.  Another has agreed to pay in way of doing my accounts; no thank you the only thing being ‘done’ is the client whoever he may be.  Did the title of the ad read: hooker looking to recruit accountant – no.  One man started to send tests at the rate of one per two and a half minutes with the time gap rapidly narrowing and with the content of the messages becoming even more doting…to the point of telling me he cannot wait to hold me in his arms – this, by contrast, is after asking me if he can rip my sexy St. Trinian’s uniform off me…hmmm a bit up-and-down there… #potentialserialkillerprofile.  One man then persisted to ask me (ten times, if not more) whether i mind him paying me above my ‘going rate’.  Firstly, i’m not a repossessed house being sold at auction and so therefore don’t have a ‘ceiling price’ so to speak, and secondly, just give me the extra money rather than holding a ceremony to present it to me, like it’s the grandest gesture in the world.

Seriously, these are just some of the examples from this weekends shortlisting.  I am both laughing and shaking my head whilst writing this…with intermittent bouts of bringing both hands to cover my face in exasperation.  The good news is that i have two potential men that may meet the mark and who don’t make me feel that i might be including a receipt for a taser gun and pepper spray to offset against my taxable income this financial year.

Anyway, now we can see exactly what kind of things keep a hooker up at night… i just totally gave up on trying to count sheep as soon as my mind veered back to consider a ‘refer family and friends’ scheme …  hahaha!